observation

I ignore the dead.

I hear them playing cards

in caskets,

mocking the life I'm still stuck in.

I pretend not

to notice.

I pretend I don't want to play,

but games

mean everything to me.

I desire friendship

on the far side

of a chess board,

or a partner in a fast paced game

of spades.

I am unsatisfied, instead.

a lone notch.

a kink of inconclusion.

Uno!

Oh no, draw four.

I ignore the living.

I see them finger fuck

their phones

during dinner at Applebee's

while ignoring

the beating heart seated

across the table.

I pretend not to notice

while eating alone

two tables away,

and watching

my waitress

bend

over

beautifully

the way a swan would

when sucking up

a fish.